After he walked out my door I chain smoked a pack of cigarettes he had left behind and after the first three I didn’t even cough, not unless I imagined kissing him.
When he texted my saying “I mean it this time. Goodbye.” I broke three mugs on the kitchen floor and then accidently stepped on one of the pieces of glass. It stung like a bitch but at least the ache that took up residence in my heart was covered for a little while.
Two weeks ago my mom called and said that she saw him in the supermarket with a blonde girl. I cried for an hour then took three pills to make my headache go away. They were seven months past the expiry date. I stopped taking them when I met him because I wanted to feel everything but if I could cut my heart out now, I would.
I’ve taken up the habit of chewing my lips because the taste of blood beats the taste of his tongue. It feels like there’s a galaxy inside of my skull and every time I remember something he said another black hole forms. It’s gonna be dark once all the stars are gone but I don’t think that I care anymore.
Last night I met a boy at the bar with rough hands and soft lips. When I started to cry in his bed at three in the morning he rocked me back and forth and told me that whatever was wrong, the hurt would go away eventually. He might’ve had good intentions but fuck, I’m sick and tired of empty promises.
He said that he would love me forever. I guess that that word meant different things for the both of us.